As I was
going to sleep last night I was trying to think of what to say about my Mom.
The one thing that came to mind immediately was the word selfless…and that is
how she lived her entire life. She was the most selfless person I know always
caring about the needs of others first, always taking care of others first,
always offering to help others first.
The life she
lived was not an easy one. Losing her Mom and Dad at a very early age, she was
given the responsibility to care for a younger brother and sister. That
continued throughout her entire life and never once did she complain. Even
though she was fortunate enough to escape the brutality of the era under Nazi control, she experienced the repercussions it caused through my Dad and
his survival. Their story is one of
survival but it was centered around love. Love for each other and love for
their family and friends.
As many of
you may know, my parents are truly the definition of the American dream. After
surviving the atrocities of war, they traveled to the U.S. in 1951 and began
their new life. It was not an easy road, especially for my Mom who once again
was put into a situation where she had to take care of things. My father was
very stubborn…hard-working…but very stubborn and refused to learn English so my
Mom had to work her job and then go to class at night so they could communicate
with others. This went on for many years. All the while, they were trying
desperately to start a family. After ten years of hoping and trying all kinds
of home remedies, like eating watermelon seeds, my parents had a daughter and
once again their lives changed. From the very first day I was born, I can tell
you my parents lived their lives for me. Now my Dad was part of the “selfless”
theme. They both worked tirelessly to make a good life for the three of us. At
that time we lived in the Bronx and the environment was becoming a bit sketchy
so the decision was made to move to Charleston, SC where my Dad had a first
cousin. And again, a new chapter begins.
They could
not have imagined what life would hold for them in the Holy City. After many
years of hard work AGAIN, they became the successful business owner of Patrick's
Sandwich Shop in a little trailer on Liberty Street. You would have thought
they won the lottery! This gave them the chance to provide a life for me that
was incredible. I was always surrounded by friends growing up in South
Windemere, active in Jewish youth groups, and sent to a wonderful private high
school. Nothing was too much for their daughter. And once again, Mom was
selfless. She continued to do alterations while working at the restaurant just
to make sure I had the best of everything. She never cared that she didn’t have
the best clothes or jewelry as long as food was on the table and her husband
and daughter were cared for. That was my Mom.
I could go
on forever citing examples of how she lived her life but most of you have known
her for quite a long time and you know she was a kind, loving and generous
person. I hope that one day when people talk about me, they will say “She was
just like her mom!”
The last few
years have been tough for my Mom. For a person that always served as a caretaker,
it was finally her turn to be taken care of…and that was difficult for her. Her
health issues were becoming too much for her to handle. Many hospital stays and
multitudes of medications are what I believe led to her sudden demise. It was just too much and she was tired.
But even
through all of her health issues, there was never a time when we spoke when her
first question was “how is everyone?”…again, always putting others first.
For the
first time in many years, Mom wanted to celebrate Passover this past year.
Since my Father’s death, it was difficult to get her to celebrate the holidays
because she said it wasn’t the same without Daddy there. But this year,
something was different. She came over for Sedar and cooked. It was fantastic.
The kids helped and she got to spend time just doing what she did…taking care
of others. It was a glorious time to spend together and one that will supersede
the sadness we feel today with her loss. We will always be able to look back
and remember the time we spent together with her that day and reflect back on
all the times we spent loving her for always taking care of us.
We found
something in her apartment that obviously was special to her and I think it’s
something my Mom would have said if she were here today. I’d like to share it
with you.
Togetherness
I have only
slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar
name, speak with me in the easy way which you always used to.
Laugh as we
always laughed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be
the household word it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort.
Life means
all that we ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely
unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your
sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an
interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is
past; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before – only
better, infinitely happier and forever – we will all be one together with God.
